Not What You Look Like
by Amari Srfalas
Summary: Kishira Hotoshi has always wanted to be in the army. But her gender means she won't get farther then the kitchens..... So binding her breasts she enlists in the army... What will happen next? Please R & R!
1. Flashback

Disclaimer: the author does not (but she wishes she does) own Escaflowne.

Author's Notes: I want to dedicate this story to my Mom, my friends

Tenika Dargan, Tyries, and Tikia Thundaren, and to all Escaflowne

fans. Thank You

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**Not What You Look Like**

_"Damn,"_ I thought, _"If he had hit me one more time my bindings would have come undone."_ here I adjusted the bindings that hold my breasts down as I thought over the past few days. 5 days ago Lord Dilandau had assigned Miguel and I to track down the "Dragon". We found him in a day and foolishly provoked him to fight. Here we lost miserably and only just had enough power to escape. Upon flying back to the Vione, I lost control of my melef and crashed. Miguel pulled me out, but in the process of rescuing me from the burning wreckage of my melef, his stealth cloak went up in flames, badly damaging his melef.

When we returned to the Vione, Lord Dilandau hit me and Miguel soundly across the face. Furthermore, when he found out that my melef was a pool of liquid metal and ashes, and Miguel's melef had lost it's stealth cloak and was badly damaged from the fire, he proceeded to beat our brains out. The only thing that saved me and Miguel from being beaten to death was Gatti's arrival with a message for Lord Dilandau from Lord Folken. It read: Come to the Bridge at once ~ Folken Strategos. Lord Dilandau quickly gave us the, 'don't-do-this-again-or-you-will-suffer-the-consequences' kind of speech, then stalked off.

"Whoa," Miguel muttered under his breath as he pushed himself off the floor, "Master Dilandau was in a pretty bad mood…"

"No kiddin," retorted Gatti. "What happened?"

"You heard," Miguel replied as he limped over to where I was still lying crouched on the ground. "Need help, Kusha?"

"Sure. Thanks, Miguel," I said with my face in my hands.

"Are you ok?" Miguel asked as I started shaking.

"Y-yes I-I'm f-fine-e," I sobbed, "It's just that I've never been hit so much with out fighting back." by now my sobbing had slowed enough that Miguel could see me blushing.

"God, you gotta toughen up a bit if you can't handle being hit around like that."

Meanwhile, Gatti had been watching us with a look of disdain on his fine featured face. "You two had better get out of here before Lord Dilandau gets back, otherwise he'll start on you again."

"Right." replied Miguel and I at the same time. We smiled at each other.

"God, you two are pa-the-tic," moaned Gatti as he watched us limp out of the room while supporting each other. Miguel just rolled his eyes at me, and I just giggled and nodded back.

"Yo, Miguel," I asked him, "Could you walk me back to my room?"

"Sure, Kusha," he grinned at me "Need some rest, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Don't worry; everyone does after their first beating," he grimaced at me "Well, here we are. I think you can get to your bed by yourself."

"Of course I can," I retorted, and pushed the door open, then slowly limped over to my bed "Thanks Miguel."

"Anytime, anytime." I watched him close the door, then threw my self onto my bed sobbing. After a while, I rolled over onto my back and started adjusting my breast bindings.

_"Hmmm… That Miguel guy… What's his last name again…? Ahh, now I remember, it's Labariel… He is a pretty sweet guy. I think I'm starting to like him."_ I could feel my self blushing. _"Well, I can't go around falling in love with guys when I'm supposed to be one."_

I guess I was tired, because the next thing I knew Viole was shaking me roughly and yelling in my ear, "KUSHA, WAKE UP! KUSHA, WAKE UP!"

"What's the matter, Viole?" I yawned in his face.

"Lord Dilandau wants to see us all in full uniform!"

"Fine, fine, calm down," I smiled weakly up at him "Least I slept in my uniform."

"Whatever, just hurry up, otherwise I'm going to be the one to get in trouble." There was a long pause as I strapped my sword around my waist.

"COME ON!" Viole practically yelled in my ear. I turned on him, my patience wearing thin.

"God Viole, calm down, it's not like we're doing a drill for the General Adelphos or something like that."

"We are!" came the reply.


	2. Punishment

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne it is copyrighted to Bandai/Sunrise

Notes: N/A

"What!" I turned to Viole, "You're joking..."

He looked at me, "Nope I'm not so hurry up!"

Viole set a fast pace and I was having a bit of trouble keeping up to him. We finally reached Lord Dilandau's throne room only to meet Gatti, Chesta, Miguel, Guimel, and Dalet. As I looked around I noticed that we where the only ones there, "Where is everybody else?" I asked.

Gatti looked around "Now that you mention it I don't really know..."

By now we where all rather puzzled "Yeah your right. Where is..." we stared at Dalet who had cut short all of a sudden.

"Whats the matter Dalet?" he pointed behind us then got into a quick bow.

We all whirled around to find ourselves staring right into Lord Dilandau's garnet eyes. "Interesting conversation you where having. May I interrupt?" we all bowed our heads.

"Yes sir," was the chorus he received.

"Good. Well I wanted to talk to you seven alone if that answers your question Yuki. I belive that you standing before me are the elite." He waved off Gatti's question "I know that my Dragonslayers are the elite but you seven are the elite of the elite. You get me?" We all nodded "Well General Adelphos asked me to select my top slayers to drill for him. If he finds you suitable we will be assigned a mission to track and fight the _Dragon_." We all nodded. Lord Dilandau stopped in front of me and lightly grabbed my collar to tip my head up and stared in my eyes "what to do with you... what to do with you... though you are definitely one of my elite you are with out a melef. I have arranged a meeting for you between you and General Adelphos to discuss your punishment..." He smiled at me and released my collar. I hoisted myself to my elbows and stared at my Lord. He spat at me.

Miguel stepped forward, "Sir shouldn't you punish me as well?"

Lord Dilandau looked Miguel over before answered, "No even though you destroyed your stealth cloak you are to valuable to me for me to punish you... not this time."

Lord Dilandau turned to us, "Yuki, the General will meet you in the hanger while the others are preparing for the drill. Understood?"

I bowed my head, "Yes sir."

"Then GO! GET OUT ALL OF YOU!" I scrambled to my feet and ran with the others to the door. Guimel quickly opened the door and we all spilled out.

Gatti stepped forward "Lord Dilandau instructed Yuki to meet General Adelphos in the hanger and we _are_ drilling in our melefs so therefore I belive we should head for the hanger."

When we got to the hanger General Adelphos was waiting for me. "Who is Yuki?"

I raised my hand slightly, "I am Sir."

"So you're the Yuki who destroyed his melef"

I blushed, "Yes sir I did. but I did it while escaping from the dragon"

He stopped smiling, "I don't like you cockiness. I think a week or so in the dungeon will do you well. I just need to see what Dilandau thinks. Understood?"

"The dungeon sir? I can't. why?"

"Yes the dungeon. It is a suitable punishment for you."

"I do agree" we all turned around to see Lord Dilandau walking towards us, "I think that punishment is well fitted for the time and money that Zaibach is putting for your new melef."

I looked at Lord Dilandau with surprise "Making me a new melef sir? Zaibach is making me a new melef."

"Did you hear me properly? Yes Zaibach is making you a new melef."

I nodded "Yes sir. I understand. I suppose I must go to the dungeon."

"Well then its decided. You shall go to the dungeon. Guards! Take him away!"

The guards flanking the General stepped forward and grabbed my shoulders. "Move it!"

I turned my head to see Miguel try to stop the guards but Lord Dilandau thrust his hand out, "Let him go."


	3. First Kiss

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne it is copyrighted to Bandai/Sunrise

Notes: I am very sorry for not having posted this sooner.... I hate typing...... TT.TT

"Hi Yuki," Miguel said with a disgusted look on his face as he eyed my cell.

I smiled at him "Hi... nice of to come down here."

"No problem.... You sure you're ok?" Miguel asked me.

I stuck my tongue out at him, "Yes I'm fine.... Don't ask me that again."

"Ok I won't..." Miguel bit his lip, "I just wanted to make sure you were ok before head of to the briefing...." He smiled "You should be ok. You're strong enough to take it."

I nodded "No duh, I can take it. Why do you think I'm in the army? To play around?"

He laughed "Never mind...."

I looked at him "Why are you looking at me funny? Is there something wrong?"

He sighed "No nothing is wrong but," He bit his lip again "I just didn't want to say this here...." He gulped "I have found myself extremely drawn to you... and I wanted to know, are you really a boy?"

My jaw dropped "You're joking! What kind of question is that? Of course I'm a boy.... What makes you ask?"

"Just that you're...urmm....behavior is rather feminine...." He smiled sheepishly at me "But if you not a girl you can just forget I asked."

I blushed "But I am...." Now it was Miguel's turn to look surprised. "No...... then if you a girl what your real name... I bet it's not Yuki. It is?"

I shook my head "No its not," I gulped, "my real name is Kishira Hotoshi... and..." I broke down, "I'm... I'm sorry I had to lie...."

He just smiled at me, "Don't worry about it... I won't tell Lord Dilandau.... I know what he would do to you if I told."

I looked up at him through a wall of tears and grinned slightly, "yeah he'd have my head." I stood up mimicking Gatti, "Tonight Lord Dilandau, we're serving Kishira with a braise of wild mushrooms.... Does that suit your majesty?"

When I looked back at Miguel he was crying, "Miguel you ok?"

He looked up at me. His face was bright red, "That.... Was.... so.... Funny..."

I cocked my head at him, "It was?"

He shook his head and just grinned, "You're crazy"

"Well I'm glad you noticed."

All of a sudden Miguel's face was next to mine, "You're also beautiful"

I looked at the ground, "You think so?"

He nodded and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, "Yeah..."

I blushed, "You... you're... um.... Cute too...." The next thing I knew was the Miguel's lips were brushing mine. As the kiss deepened he gently pushed his tongue into my mouth. When we broke apart I was crying again.

Miguel looked at me funny, "Why are you crying?"

"Well I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be somewhere... Well somewhere a bit more romantic..."

He smiled, "Sorry..." Miguel turned and examined the wall clock, "O... I have to go now.... I'll try to get down here before I leave...." He blew me a kiss, "See you later Kishira...." I glared at him.

"Not a word to Lord Dilandau?"

"Not a single word."


	4. Death!

**Notes**: Thanks to; _Kya77, blue ice 2, Danielle, _and_ Night of the Raven _for reviewing chapter 3. Chocolate cookies for y'all

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Escaflowne it is copyrighted to Bandai/Sunrise... But I do keep Dilandau, Miguel, and Folken in my closet as pleasure slaves.... Yum

* * *

I yawned and stretched, as the early morning sun poured though my cell window. I closed my eyes and curled into a ball, Miguel's face came to my sight and I could feel my cheeks burning. _What would Lord Dilandau do if he knew..._As I closed my eyes a clanging jogged my brain. _Duh, Kishira, you idiot Lord Dilandau is back today. _My blanket was ripped off my body and someone picked me up by the hair, "Lord Dilandau's back, and he wants to see his little jail bird!" The hand shook and I bit my lip, resisting the urge to scream in pain.

The guard's companion grabbed my shoulder and they both hoisted me up and out of the cell and into the hall way. I was dropped unceremoniously onto the floor. I stood up and brushed myself off glaring at the guards, who where grinned amused, "Not so high-and-might now, are 'ya Dragonslayer?" He spat on the ground, at my feet and sneered, "Aren't you gonna run of to your Lord Dilandau?" He made a mock whining voice as I turned around, clenching my fists, wanting to jump and throttle the man. His mocking echoed down the corridor.

I turned around to face him; his companion put a cautious hand on the hilt on his katana, watching me warily. I just smiled at the guards, "One reason the Dragonslayers are chosen is that _we are not afraid to kill_," I gestured at the guard making the insults, "_Unlike_ your friend here who's brain, and courage seem to be limited to taunting higher ranking soldiers."

The guard drew his katana as a warning, "I'd watch your mouth _slayer_, you're not the only ones in Lord Folken's favor."

I turned away, disgusted at the arrogance of the man. _How dare he insult the _DragonSlayers_... bastard..._I stepped slowly into the stairwell, feeling slightly nauseated. _Does everyone hate us so much? And if they do, why?_

* * *

Gatti clapped me heartily on the back as I joined the rest of the elites in front of Lord Dilandau's room. Miguel was conspicuously missing, "Guys, where's Miguel?"

Dalet looked at me hesitantly, then turned away, "He's... He got injured in one of the fights." It struck me how eloquent Dalet could be.

"Is he all right?" Sub-consciously I chewed on a nail.

Gatti opened his mouth, but any words were drowned out by Lord Dilandau's door sliding open. A faint moan issued from inside, startling me.

"Is everything all right? Guys, what the hell is going on?" I got no response, except for a swift push in the small of the back that shoved me into Lord Dilandau's room. The door slid shut behind me, "Guys..."

"Yuki is, is that you?" I jumped at the weakness in Dilandau's voice. Never in my 2 years of service for him had I ever heard him sound weak, _never_. "Damned doppelganger...." Dilandau's voice cracked slightly, "He never had to kill him...."

My heart leapt into my throat, "Did Miguel kill a doppelganger, milord?" Fearing what was coming next I tried to block Dilandau's words from penetrating my head.

"No... Miguel didn't do the killing," a harsh sob racked Dilandau's prone form, "Damn that doppelganger..."

I blinked back a tear that was threatening to spill over my face, "Is Miguel dead milord?"

Dilandau stood up from his desk and moved to my side, "Yuki... I'm... I'm so sorry..."

I was in a daze, barely paying attention to my surroundings, _Miguel... How could you leave me? Miguel... Why... Why is Dilandau so weak? Why am I not crying for you? Why my love, why?_ I blinked as I felt a weight lean on my shoulder. I looked down on Dilandau clutching my arm, as if trying to recover some part of Miguel from it.

I pulled out of Dilandau's grip and backed silently out of the room, the power of speech still out of my reach.

* * *

My room became a safe haven for me and my thoughts over the next few days. I cried, laughed, raged and pondered in the safety of my room. My thoughts mostly were bent on revenge, my actions were mostly grieving.

Gatti or one of the others would try to console me but I would throw them out, a whirling mass of tears and fists. Chesta managed to calm me for a few minutes, and he told me something that did nothing but cool my rage for a few hours _Dilandau why did you not let me hunt that damned doppelganger down? Why?! _I sat and brooded in my room for days, before I was ready to face my friends.

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**A/N** Well what do you think? Oops I never dedicated the chapter.... I'm gonna dedicate it to everyone who reviewed chapter 3, that would be _Kya77, blue ice 2, Danielle, Night of the Raven _and _Tikia Thundaren_.Thanks!

Amari


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